It seems to me that very often people, when communicating, go beyond what is permissible with their questions. And all would be fine if the questions were about the weather and about the birds. But no. So, the question arises, how to answer correctly. In order not to fall in their own eyes, and not to offend who answer, stop. But, as a matter of fact, why not offend? A person allows himself to be asked incorrect questions, which means that we must «keep our face».
But before we look at the options for how to answer a question that violates all your personal boundaries, ask yourself a question. Why was this person able to ask such a question to me? Where did you make a communication mistake and that allowed the person to cross the line.
So, Smile. Let’s apply one of my favourite sayings here: «Any depression should be met with a smile. Depression will think that you are an idiot and will run away!» (Robert DeNiro). Whatever inappropriate questions are asked, always keep your head held high. Brag about your bonuses and benefits. In everything, you can find your pros and cons, and do not be shy about your position in life. No matter what you are accused of, any position has its advantages.
Asking about being overweight — point out that overweight people tolerate cold more easily and more often look younger than their peers. They ask about the absence of a soul mate and «get yourself at least a cat» — talk about free time, career and your ease to rise. When will the children appear? — maybe we can discuss about with the “my half”, and then we will notify you? How do you like it? By writing or by telling?
Show that you feel sorry for the other person who does not have your advantages. Your confidence can make your opponent think.
Dramatize. Especially when it comes to amounts. Exaggerate all this so that it is clear that this is an exaggeration. The salary? Thank you, great. In the summer we will be fly to the moon. How much have you invested in apartment renovation? — We could buy a used plane. But if you also answer with a serious face, then you can achieve more effect. I hope the questioner will gradually diminish the desire to ask you frankly.
Pray for help. More often than not, by throwing unwholesome questions at us, those who understand that they are asking uncomfortable questions want us to start making excuses. This «manoeuvre» is one of the tricks of the manipulator, take note of this. Try to unsettle the manipulator, “admit your guilt,” agree and ask for advice. Do this as sincerely as you have theatrical ability. And then repeat the question itself again with connotations. Do you understand correctly what you wanted to point out to you? Believe it or not, not every questioner is able to admit that he asked a frankly rude question. And most likely it is retreating. But if this method is not for you — smile.
Of course, the previous tips do not work if a kid asked you a question. And if you have plans to establish contact with a little one, always answer the questions sincerely. And it’s better not to hide anything from the children — they notice more than you think. Carefully bring them up to date, deliver important or unpleasant news. Try to explain the situation in an accessible way. After all, asking you about the salary, the kid is not interested in the amount, he is interested in whether this is enough to buy him a new toy. Your sincerity and attention to the child will allow you not to blush at sudden questions in inappropriate situations.
But still, if an adult asks an inappropriate question and you do not want to answer with humour and correctly, just say that you do not want to answer the question. To refuse to answer is also your right. Don’t be aggressive. There is so much of it in our life.